dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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