I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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