Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
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I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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