Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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