This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize