I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So. Much. Porn.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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