New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
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underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
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Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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