Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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