Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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