what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
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She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
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Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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