She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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