The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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