Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
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