oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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