the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
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she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
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I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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