I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize