I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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