Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
why is half of my head shaved?
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