Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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