i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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