I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
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we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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