those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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