Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize