You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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