Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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