first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize