batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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