Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize