My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize