he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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