Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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