the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize