hell yes lets make some ravioli
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize