he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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