Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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