Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
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She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
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Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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