Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize