He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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