she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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