i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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