what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
zippers are such a cool invention
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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