Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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