Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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