adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
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We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
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Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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