Soap is not a condiment
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize