wakey wakey hands off snakey
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize