addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Is Oprah even human
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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