my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize