That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
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Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
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im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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