my soul wont recognize me after tonight
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize